Tragedy

Sometimes tragedies make us reflect more on what the plan of salvation is all about. Unfortunately tragedies can come at all times of the year and this Christmas I had a dear friend that experienced a tragedy (and by her experiencing it, I too felt the pain of it.) As I sat in the Chapel listening to a speaker talk about tragedy and God's plan and I felt comfort about this tragedy. I don't think that God wants bad things to happen, but he sometimes he allows them to happen. He knows more about our inner strength than we could ever imagine. We don't always understand His plan and His plan isn't always pretty and fluffy. We don't always get our way and sometimes things are difficult to shape us into something miraculous. It is not up to me to judge His wisdom. We aren't responsible for understanding the entire plan, but we are responsible for having faith that He does love us, His Son has provided us a way to have a happiness, and one day (maybe not in this life), if we trust Him ,we will be able to understand His wisdom in all things. For this understanding I am grateful.

Praise to the Man

I know it is Christmas time and a post about Christ is more befitting of the season, but I had to most my testimony about Joseph Smith and why I praise (not worship) him. I was reading the Sunday School lesson about Josheph Smith today and there is a quote from President Benson that really touched me: “The First Vision of the Prophet Joseph Smith is bedrock theology to the Church. The adversary knows this and has attacked Joseph Smith’s credibility from the day he announced the visitation of the Father and the Son. … You should always bear testimony to the truth of the First Vision. Joseph Smith did see the Father and the Son. They conversed with him as he said they did. It is the most glorious event since the resurrection of our Lord. Any leader who, without reservation, cannot declare his testimony that God and Jesus Christ appeared to Joseph Smith can never be a true leader, a true shepherd. If we do not accept this truth, … if we have not received a witness about this great revelation, we cannot inspire faith in those whom we lead.”

I was thinking about this as a primary leader and just as a member of these Church. If I can't say within my heart that I know that Joseph Smith saw God the Father and His Son, then all the other truth's in the church are nice principles. Without a true testimony of Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon is just a neat book with some good lessons. BUT I do have a testimony of Joseph Smith. I have felt the Spirit burn within me and witness that Joseph Smith did go to the Sacred Grove, he did pray for instruction on which church to join and he did receive an answer from God. I know all of these things in my heart and in my head. I have felt it when I pray and I have understood it when I read and ponder. It is because of this knowledge that I know that I belong to the restored Church of Jesus Christ on this earth today. I praise Joseph Smith for his courage and faith. I praise him for his strength and persistence to share what he knew despite persecution. It it because of his strength that I was raised in a family and taught from a young age about his visitation from God and Jesus Christ. I cannot express my feelings of gratitude for the lessons I was taught as a child and for the testimony that I gained as a teenager (and continue to gain daily.) I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet and deserves to be praised.

Watch this video.

The baby Jesus

I am preparing my primary lesson today and we are trying to get the kids in the spirit of Christmas. We are doing a nativity scene and I was thinking about Christmas and why it is such an important Holiday. I also read a great article about families and Christmas. The article talks about how much we love the Christmas season because it means spending time with our families and that, because of Christ, we can live eternally with them.

We celebrate the birth of Christ because it heralded the beginning of Christ descending from his throne on high to become a humble mortal. This was the first step of showing the Christ truly knows and can empathize what it is to be mortal. Sometimes it is hard for me to picture Christ as a baby that had to be fed, cradled, cleaned, and taken care of in everyway. It seems conterintuitive to think about my Savior, who is powerful and almighty, as a helpless infant. But that is part of the miracle. He came to earth to be able to save and succor his people. He humbled himself to be a baby that could not survive without a mother and father . He humbled himself to be baptized, even though he had no sin. He humbled himself to be tempted by Satan, but over came it. He humbled himself to wash the feet of his disciples. He humbled himself to be treated as a criminal. He humbled himself to be mocked, spit upon, disrobed, beaten and killed on the cross. He humbled himself to feel the pains of sins, sorrows and pains in Gethsemane, despite the fact that He was perfect and did not deserve the suffering that he felt. He humbled himself in all these ways, so that I, an unperfect person, could live with my family again for eternity. I am thankful for the Christmas season and my testimony of the Savior and the miracle of His birth and His life that ultimately was all for me and you.

Knowledge

Today I listened to a Conference talk about the Book of Mormon. I heard Elder Holland say (he may have been quoting somebody else) that any man who would be decietful enough to make up the story of the Book of Mormon would not have written the amazing and simple truths that are found in it.

I know that arguements can go back and forth constantly about the Book of Mormon and its truthfullness and as I have mentioned before that there is a feeling in my heart that tells me it is true. Well, that still applies, but I want to say right here that I KNOW with my heart and my mind that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. I KNOW that it testafies of Jesus Christ. I KNOW that many simple eternal truths are found in the Book of Mormon. I KNOW that Joseph Smith translated (not wrote) the Book of Mormon. I KNOW that the Book of Mormon has defined me as a person more than any other book on earth. I KNOW that I gained a testimony of these things through my own knowledge and not based off of my parents testimony. I KNOW that God loves us and that is why He restored the gospel to the earth and gave us prophets on earth tody.

I am so thankful for the Book of Mormon! I know I am a better person for reading and studying the Book of Mormon.

Grace

Today I was reading in 1 Corinthians and I read something that touched on the principle that I had discussed with my coworkers. In Chapter 15 verses 9-10 Paul says, "For I am the least of the apostles, that am not meet to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.

I think this brings up two important things. God's grace is enough to help anybody. It can turn somebody who persecutes the church to an apostle. God's grace is powerful and nobody (minus those who knowingly deny God) is beyond help.

It can't stop there, though. We have to be willing to god beyond being and saved and make sure that it is "not in vain" and we have to "labour abundantly." It isn't just a matter of mental being "saved" but letting your sould be changed and then labor abundantley in good works.

I believe we still need Him

Heb. 13: 8.
Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.

In Hebrews it proclaims that Christ is the same and unchanging. I know that He is the most solid and reliable thing I can count on. No matter how much my husband, parents, family and friends love me there is always the chance that they may chose not to love me, but my Savior is unmoveable and somebody that will always be there for me. I believe that we need him just as much today as the people of ancient times and I believe that he has provided a way that we can one day return to our Father in Heaven. I know that He has given us prophets on the earth today because we still need direction. We still need revelation that is applicable for today. The world is in a state that we need to have instructions and reassurances from His servants.

Listening to General Conference and to the video below are reminders to me that the Savior loves us today!

Lifting Burdens

Lifting Burdens

I know that Christ loves us so much and has Atoned for our sins and can lift our burdens. Please watch this youtube video.

It has been a long time

I haven't posted for a while but I have had many occassions where something strikes me a true and faith promoting but I then forget to post about it. This week I had a discussion with two coworkers about religion. It made me think about the fact that only through the infinite and eternal Atonement can we be reunited with our Father in Heaven and obtain exaltation.
These aren't exact quotes but this is the gist of part of our conversation.

Coworker #1 One thing that really bothers me is thinking that there could be a murderer or rapist that would be able to claim that they are "saved" when they are in jail and think that they would one day being sitting in Heaven next to somebody who has been good their whole lives.

Coworker #2: Well that is the beauty of it and that is what shows Christ's power. His ability to save anyone regardless of what they have done.

I am so thankful for the power of the Atonement and that Christ truely can and will save all of his children, but I believe the caveat is that we have to be willing to accept it. We have to come unto him and be truley repentant. Christ has the ability to make us all clean, but we are required to go through the repentance process. It requires more than simply saying, "I'm saved." I requires a change in heart. I think the questions in Alma ask it perfectly: And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? And just because He can help us does not mean that it will be painless and easy. He will require sacrifice and change on our part.

Pride

Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight! Isaiah 5:21



Last night I went to a church meeting and I was struck by the importance of not being prideful. One of the things that was said was, we should have God be our number one focus, then our fellow man and THEN ourselves. It is so simple and so perfect. It is something I will be working on.

Chances

I work at a doctor's office as a PA and I often have patients that I follow for chronic illnesses. I have one patient (who I really like a lot) that has hypertension and high cholesterol. He is very overweight and he smokes. The first time I saw him he had been off his meds for a few months and he promised me that he was changing his life. He said he was going to quit smoking, start eating right, exercising, taking his medications and come in for his appointments. I was excited for him. I wrote his prescriptions and we came up with game plans for helping him exercise and quit smoking. I told him to come back in 3 weeks for a medcheck and fasting blood work. Well, 2 months later he comes back in and is out of his meds (blood pressure was through the roof), he has gained 5 lbs and it still smoking. Again, he said this time will be it. I am going to do it this time. I was excited, but this time worried and not as trusting.

I have thought a lot about this gentleman and myself. I think in many ways I am like him coming to my Heavenly Father and asking again for another chance to change myself. I come in prayer, sometimes later than I should and say "I know I promised to get my priorities straight and I know I promised that I would do a better job of reading my scriptures and I know I promised to always say kind words to others and I know I promised I would look for opportunities to share the gospel and I know I promised to make sure I only enjoy wholesome entertainment, but I haven't done all that I could have and Heavenly Father I am sorry. This time will be different. This time I will do better." Sometimes as I am promising this I wonder: Does He still believe me? Has He given up on me and my promises to do better? But in heart I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are constantly waiting with open arms. They are willing to forgive us and give us chance after chance. We just have to keep trying and keep working to be better and they will always be there for us. I am grateful for second, third, fourth etc. chances for me to try to be better. I am thankful for Christ's atonement and that he doesn't give up on me.

I love to see the Temple

Last week I got to teach the kids about the temple. I was so excited to be able to tell them about the feeling I have when I am in the temple and hear about their experiences with the temple. I asked all the kids and teachers to share a temple experience and one of my teachers summed up one of my feelings about the temple. She said, "I love going to the temple because every time I go I feel like royalty. I feel like royalty in my Heavenly Father's house because I am his child and He loves me." I really loved that explanation. I love going to the house of the Lord and feeling His love and feeling the Spirit. I am grateful that Heavenly Father provides a place apart from the world where we can worship and enjoy peace and quiet.

Joseph in Prison

I recently read in the old testament the story of Joseph being sold into Egypt. I was thinking about trials. Joseph was first sold into Egypt by his brothers and then put in prison. In the end those things both proved to be a blessing because then he was at the right place, at the right time to interpret the Pharaoh's dream. He was then able to begin storing food for the famine which ultimately protected his family from starvation. Sometimes we have trials that we have to wade through in order to see that Heavenly Father was doing it for our gain. When Rich and I were applying to school we were praying and fasting that we would both get into school in the same area. Well that didn't happen and we were so frustrated. I wondered why we weren't given the blessing that we had prayed so hard for. We came out for me to go to school and Rich found a job. School was very difficult and time intensive for me my first year. Rich decided to apply again the next year and he was admitted. I realized that it truly was a blessing that he didn't get in the first year because I needed him to be living with me (if he had been admitted we would have been living two hours away from each other) and I needed that support and it would have been really difficult to study the way I needed to and commute to see him. Then the next year, when I was traveling and most of my rotations were in Richmond I realized again how blessed we were, because Heavenly Father sees that big picture when often times we can't see it. I am so thankful that I have a loving Heavenly Father who only gives us trials that will be for our benefit. While in the trial it can be difficult to understand and see that, but I know that it is true.

Elaine Dalton gave a general conference talk about virtue. The thing that struck me about her talk was it was not just a virtue, but a RETURN to virtue. When I look around the world today I see many sad examples of people lacking virtue. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints I want to be known as somebody who is virtuous. Sister Dalton say, “Virtue begins in the heart and the mind.” We really have to desire to be virtuous in order for our hearts to be set on it, but I believe if we try to live our lives with virtue or “a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards” we can be a huge force for good in this world.

Also, as a coincidence I opened my fortune cookie and it said, "Your virtues are a priceless treasure." I would have to agree.

Faith

Today I am teaching the kids ages 8-12 about faith. One of the suggestions in the manual is to tell some stories from the scriptures about somebody who showed faith. One of the stories it recommended was about the 2000 stripling warriors. I love this story. If you haven't read it in a while, I recommend it. These young men were born into families of faith. Their fathers had covenanted not to go to war and use weapons ever again and their mothers had taught them to have faith. When their fathers were in a position requiring that they might break their covenant, these young men offered to go to war so their fathers wouldn't have to fight. They went forth with courage and faith and fought with strength.

If that isn't an example of faithful families I don't know what is.

Article of Faith #13 Part 2 Honest and True

The thirteenth article of faith say "We believe in being honest, true..."

Whenever I think of being honest and true, I think of integrity. There are many quotations in the scriptures about honesty/being true/integrity, but anytime I think of that character trait I associate it my Grandpa Schmidt. My whole life, anytime someone would talk about integrity, my parents would tell me about how much integrity my Grandpa had. A couple years ago, my dad wrote me a letter of advice. I treasure this letter and the important things my dad said in it. This is what he writes about integrity:

"One of my favorite words in the English language is integrity. I like it because it is more than honesty. It is like honesty on steroids. It means that you are honest when it doesn't matter to anyone and no one but you knows the difference. It means that you have enough self-respect that you will do what is right because it is right. Your grandfather was a lot like that and I have always known that I could count on Henry Schmidt's moral compass if mine was in a magnetic field or not sending a clear signal. It is better to give a little more to the other guy than it to be off balance on your own side....An example of this was when dad was bailing hay in Wyoming during the depression. He had contracted with a man to bail his hay and then haul it to Salt Lake and sell it. As I remember the story, dad was to bail and haul the hay to Salt Lake and they would split the money in half. The man really needed his share of money fast so dad gave it to him in advance. Dad couldn't r really afford to do this but the man was pretty desperate. When dad got to Salt Lake with the hay the price had gone up considerably. Because the deal had been made in advance, dad had every right to keep the added money , but my pop split the profit right down the middle and shared the gain rather than keep it for himself. It probably would not have mattered if dad kept the gain and the other fellow would never have known the difference. What does matter is dad did the right thing. Never let anything get in the way of your integrity."

There was a day when I was in a clinical rotation and I was writing a note in the chart and I went to write down my finding on the abdominal exam. I realized I had forgotten to do it, but I knew it was normal because the patient told me they were feeling great and hadn't noticed any problems. I was about to write down that the abdominal exam was normal (I had seen my preceptor do the same thing many times before). Then I started thinking about my Grandpa Schmidt and the meaning of integrity. I knew that by writing that the abdominal exam was normal I was certifying that I had done it, even though I hadn't. I realized that losing my integrity was not worth the few minutes it would take me to walk down the hall and actually DO the abdominal exam. It only took me a few minutes, and it was normal (as I had expected it would be), but I new in my heart that I had done the right thing. That to me is what it means to be honest and true. I believe in being honest and true.

13th Article of Faith ;Part 1-Benevolence

I love the 13th Article of Faith. It has always been a favorite to me because of all the important things that are discussed in it. SO rather than doing one post about it, I have decided to do it in parts over time.

We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

Benevolence is such an all encompassing word. As I am reading these scriptures I am learning what it means to be benevolent. It is being kind and treating others nicely. It is “doing good continually” (Alma 41:14) and constantly looking for ways to help others. It is being merciful (Josh 2:12) and giving somebody and second chance when they are down on their luck or have made a wrong choice. It is imparting of your substance to the poor (James 1:27) and not keeping all your money and time for yourself and selfish pursuits. It is being concerned about the welfare of another person’s soul(Enos 1:9) and sharing the gospel. It is forgiving (Luke 23:34) and realizing that if Christ and forgive everyone on this earth and atone for our sins then we must also forgive our fellow men. As a member of the church I believe in being benevolent (which gives me a lot to work on.)

Ask and ye shall receive

Matthew 21:22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. Yesterday, I went to the temple. The temple is the house of the Lord where faithful members of the church (at a mature age) can come worship. As I was sitting in the temple I was hoping to feel the Holy Ghost give me some kind of prompting or inspiration. But nothing was happening. I kept praying that the spirit would come to me and I was just about at the end of the session and I still couldn't feel anything. I was getting frustrated and not understanding why it wasn't coming. Then all of a sudden I felt the Holy Ghost come to me. I felt warm and peaceful inside. It was such a wonderful feeling. A feeling that can only happen when you are learning truth or experiencing the tender mercies of the Lord. There wasn't any kind of specific prompting or inspiration that came with this sweet whispering of the Holy Ghost. It was simply a loving comfort. I learned that Heavenly Father DOES hear the pleadings of our hearts and answer our prayer. Also, that the Holy Ghost is truly the comforter and I am grateful for that gift.

Direction in Life

Can you imagine drifting through life without thinking it had a purpose? Trying to imagine my life without Heavenly Father in it is difficult. It would be bleak and so pointless. Thankfully, I know that there is a Heavenly Father. I was thinking a lot about the way knowing this changes my life. By knowing that there is a Father in Heaven it then leads to the question what does that Heavenly Father want for me?? He wants us to have his greatest gift, which is eternal life. “If you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God.” Knowing that, gives me a whole new goal and purpose. Eternal life. That is what I want, eternal life, the greatest gift from God. The next logical thing to look at is what do I need to do to obtain this gift. “press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, … [we] shall have eternal life.” In this scripture it says keep the commandments, which requires that we KNOW the commandments and endure to the end. I think enduring to the end has a lot to do with keep that goal constantly in mind. Elder Nelson sums this up in his talk when he said, “Brothers and sisters, our busy lives force us to focus on things we do from day to day. But the development of character comes only as we focus on who we really are. To establish and accomplish those greater goals, we do need heavenly help.”

Preparedness

This week I listened to some of the conference talks that I had missed. One theme that struck me and then was reinforced to me this weekend at our ward camp out is the theme of preparedness. Right now I sit in my apartment, munching on food (which is plentiful), in comfortable clothes, where the temperature is easily adjusted and there is water and electricity. I am in good health, I have a great job that I enjoy, I have a wonderful husband and my family is doing great. However, I know that trials are inevitable. I have learned through the wise counsel of our prophets that we should prepare for trials by physically having the things that are necessary. They have recommended that we have 72 hour kits and food storage. I have been motivated by this counsel and I am working on getting myself prepared temporally. While I know this is important I was touched by a second principle. The idea that spoke to me was the importance of SPIRITUAL PREPAREDNESS. Elder Ballard discussed the lessons learned from the scriptures. In the scriptures we see a pattern of people who are blessed by Heavenly Father and because the have all they need they stop looking to the Lord for help and become prideful and start to sin and eventually they are "compelled" to be humble. I have seen this in my own life by my scripture study habits. When I am having a hard time in my life I do a better job of staying up on scripture study than when everything is going perfect. One of the way I can be spiritually prepared for hard times is to keep up on my scripture reading and my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I am going to work hard at preparing myself for hard times, by learning how to feel the comfort and peace of the Holy Ghost. By getting the habits of pondering scriptures and likening them to myself, I will be more prepared for trials. I am grateful for the apostles and prophets of our day who have reminded me and warned me to prepare for trials.

Easter

This morning the sun came streaming in our window and woke me up. The bright beauty of the sun is how I imagined the first Easter day was. I have been thinking about how important Easter is to me all day and how I could express my testimony on this blog. I think the time I felt the atonement touch my heart most was when I went to the temple before I got married. I was there for the first time and realized that the only reason I was able to be in such a pure in holy place was because of repentance. I wish I could describe this feeling I had of sitting there in the beautiful white surroundings and have the warmth of forgiveness wash over me. I had the sweet spirit remind me that because of Jesus Christ I could come to the temple. There I was able to worship and come closer to Heavenly Father and I could be sealed to me wonderful husband for time and all eternity. The atonement gives us the chance to have a peace in our hearts. It gives us the opportunity to be clean of our sins. I am so grateful for that peace and knowledge that Christ's sacrifice was for me individually.

The organzation

Beyond just the truthfulness of the gospel, I think the organization of the church is pretty incredible. It is amazing that is runs on the sacrifice and service of the members of the church. Nobody is paid we are just asked to volunteer. Callings are based on prayer and inspiration. I have had different callings. At times I have had callings that I didn't know if I could handle during school or with other obligations, but each time I accept a calling Heavenly Father provides a way for me to accomplish all that I need to do. I also have learned to love different groups of people through different callings. When I was a freshman at BYU I was called to be a FHE group leader and I really came to love each of the people that met together in our group. I still think about them and wonder how they are doing. As I think about the various callings I have had throughout my life the faces of those that I learned to love pop into my head. I could go through and talk about each calling and things I learned from each group of people, but I'll just say that I think the organzation of the church is divinely inspired. It provides us with opportunities to share in the lives of others and in a slight way see how Heavenly Father is concerned about our wellbeing and show us how to be more concerned with the welfare and potential of others.

Article of Faith #12

We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

In college I took BYU's american heritage course. I loved it (I know that I am in the minority on that one). We talked about morality and how we need laws. Laws exist because there are things that are morally right and wrong. We need to support the law, because without them we can lose some of our sense of moral justice.

Article of Faith #11

We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

I think this one is pretty straightforward, but I think that it is a good reminder that there are people and points in history where this wasn't so straightforward. I love that it says privilege. It is a privilege to worship God the way we feel is right. I am grateful for that blessing and gift I have to live in a time and in a country where the only thing the prevents me from worshipping the way I should/want to is myself. It really makes me want to take advantage of the gift more and make sure I don't take my scriptures or church attendance for granted.

Paradox

I went to an enrichment meeting yesterday where a we had an interesting speaker talk about paradoxes in our church. One that I thought was really interesting is that we believe that we are the only true church on the earth, but we also believe that we have a lot in common with other religions and we want people to know that we are just like them in many of our beliefs.

I think both of these things are correct. There are pieces of truth in all religions. When the church was restored to the earth through Joseph Smith it pulled the pieces of truth back in to one whole package that included the priesthood authority. This is why you can feel the Spirit when talking about Jesus Christ or our Heavenly Father, no matter who you are speaking with. I remember once visiting a friend of mine. We went to her church and I was sitting in the congregation and had an experience where the still small voice of the Spirit gave me an answer to my prayer. I knew that what the preacher was talking about was true. While I knew that there was truth in his sermon, I also knew that some things were missing and it wasn't complete. I know that with the priesthood authority and the restoration of all things in the gospel (including ongoing prophetic revelation) I am a member of the true church on the earth today and yet many of the things I believe are taught everyday from pulpits of other religions.

Article of Faith #10

We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisaical glory.

To be able to write on this one I had to do more research about the 10 tribes. I didn't know why the 10 tribes were important. What I learned that applies to me is this:

1)Heavenly Father made a covenant with Abraham that his descendants would be given the gospel and the chance to be exalted. When Heavenly Father makes a covenant, he will fulfil it.

2)I was really struck by the love that Heavenly Father has for his children. That is why he wants to gather us. To me, when the scriptures talked about the gathering of Israel, it means the gathering of all His children. We all have the opportunity to be part of Israel and to be gathered if we accept the gospel. Accepting the gospel is not just being baptised either. It is accepting it everyday in the way we choose to live.

3)In order to help people realize their place in the Kingdom of Heaven, I need to share the gospel with them.

My Role as Woman

As I mentioned in the last post, one of the ways revelation can help us it to understand doctrine. My understanding and testimony about my role as a woman has developed over many years. And I am still learning and gaining more of a testimony. Being a mother and a wife was not always on the top of my priority list and it has been a testimony builder to begin to see what an important calling it is. When I was 16 and struggling to know what I wanted to study and what I wanted to be. I had always thought I wanted to go to medical school and that was it. BUT at that time I realized that I actually DID want to have a family and I appreciated that my mom was home with us and raised us. At a young women's conference President Hinckley said this: "Find purpose in your life. Choose the things you would like to do, and educate yourselves to be effective in their pursuit... Study your options. Pray to the Lord earnestly for direction. Then pursue your course with resolution." I studied my options and found that being PA was a good match for me. During school I would often have classmates tell me that I wasn't supposed to go to graduate school or tell me that I should change my aims because I was getting married. I was very conflicted I knew that in the Proclamation to the World on the Family we are told what Heavenly Father desires for women. "Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." But I also knew that Heavenly Father wanted us to be educated. In the Six B's talk by the Prophet we are told, "The Lord wants you to educate your minds and hands, whatever your chosen field." I prayed and knew that I was supposed to go to PA school AND be a mother. I could do both. I knew that was the direction that Heavenly Father had given me. Then one day in the middle of the application process I ran into a friend on campus. I was updating him on my application to school and he told me a story about his mom. She was in her 2nd year of law school and decided to quit to have a family. 5 years later she passed away. He said, "I wouldn't be here, if my mom had finished law school and put off having a family." I started freaking out and was panicking that I had made the wrong decision. I decided to go for a drive and I pulled out my scriptures. I questioned why I was opening the scriptures. They are, after all, accounts of people who lived over 2000 years ago. How could I gain insight on whether I should go to graduate school from the scriptures. BUT that is where personal revelation comes in. I read this scripture from 1 Nephi 17 "And so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon raw meat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong, yea, even like unto the men; and they began to bear their journeyings without murmurings." I thought about how strength was how men would provide for their families; similar to the way education can be the means for men providing for their families today. The mothers also gave their children their food or nurtured them. As we are supposed to do today. I realized the I could be strong (or educated) like unto the man, yet the role that would be more important is my role as a mother, as a nurturer. I have had it reaffirmed to me many times since then. Getting some education is necessary, but being a nurturing mother is paramount to who I am.

Article of Faith #9

We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.

I believe that Heavenly Father gives revelation to the whole earth through the prophets on the earth. When I hear the words and the spiritual wisdom that comes from our current prophet Thomas S. Monson, I KNOW that he is speaking from on high and revealing important things about the Kingdom of God.

I know that revelation exists on this earth today. The most important way that I know this is that I have received personal revelation. As I was reading about revelation today I realized that when we have questions in our life the most important thing that we can do is ask Heavenly Father to reveal the answers to us. These questions can be anything from doctrine, to confirming that something is true, to guidance in the paths of everyday life. BUT when we ask for revelation we need to be "focusing on things of God." To me this means that if we have a question about a path to take in our lives we need to look at the decision according to Heavenly Father's perspective. For example, when I was deciding on a job to take, I didn't pray to ask if they were offering me enough money or vacation time. I prayed if this would be a place that I could do the things that Heavenly Father wanted me to do like serve in the church, have a family and be a good wife.

I wish I could say that I constantly have experiences of personal revelation where the great mysteries of God are unfolded to me, but in reality what I have is on a much smaller scale and far less earth-shattering, yet so important to my testimony. Throughout the Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants we are encouraged to ASK of God whether things are true. Personal revelation is not something you can be brainwashed to feel. It is something that is in your heart that is confirmed when you pray and the spirit speaks to you. (One important thing about that is the Spirit and fear do not exist together. If you are still experiencing fear when you pray about something that IS NOT letting the spirit truly speak to you.) I do know that when I read my scriptures I regularly find myself reading verse and getting a little flutter inside telling me that what I am reading is true and it is right. I also have had experiences of personal revelation guiding me on what to do, like marrying Richard and deciding where to go to school. Also, personal revelation is a way that I have learned about difficult doctrine and confirmed their truthfulness. One experience was when it was confirmed to me that women have divine role as mothers (I'll have to blog that entire story separately). I am grateful for personal revelation that is still given and teaches me about the Kingdom of God and my place in the Kingdom of God.

Article of Faith #8

We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.


I was thinking about this when I listened to this talk by Elder Bednar. Toward the end of the talk he explains we have to UNDERSTAND the doctrine to do the behavior for the right reason. I thought about the question "why do I read the scriptures." Which doctrine drives me to take time out of my day to read the scriptures? I realized that much of the reason I read is because I learn about the nature of God and about Jesus Christ from the scriptures. From those words I learn how I can come closer to my Father in Heaven and what he requires of me. I read to learn about Jesus Christ and see how the atonement does and will work for me. I read it because while I am reading I often exerience the wisperings of the Holy Ghost. Occasionally I will have an enlightment when reading books for book club, school or pleasure, but when I am reading the Book of Mormon and the Bible I always feel that this is a message that Heavenly Father wants me to have. He wants to me to learn from the teachings and experiences of these prophets and disciples of Christ. And in some parts from Christ himself. That is why I read. I read because it is the word of God and I can come closer to him by reading His words.

Article of Faith #7

We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.

Today I was reading Joseph Smith History. It talks about when Joseph Smith saw God the Father and His son Jesus Christ. At that time he was only 14 years old. He saw them after he prayed and asked God which church he should join. Then God and Jesus appeared to him to tell him that he shouldn't join any of them, because none of them had the complete truth or the authority. He wanted to tell his minister about it. I can (sort of) imagine what he was going through. He prayed and not only recieved answer to his prayers, but had God appear to him. After that experience he decides to tell a spiritual leader in his town about the experience. Which makes sense, the spiritual leader would probably be the most likely person to believe this sort of experience. He tells the minister and not only does the minister not believe him, but he tells him it is of the devil because revelation and vision are not on the earth anymore.

I believe that they are still on the earth. I believe that at certain times God will give these gifts to people to help further His work and strengthen His kingdom. I believe that the other gifts do happen and I believe that Heavenly Father still does allow these gifts and miracles to come about.

Article of Faith #6

We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.

When I was on my surgery rotation I started talking to one of the doctor's I worked with about the organization of the church. As I told him about it, it was reaffirmed in my mind that this is the way Jesus wants his church on the earth to be established and that I belong to a church that has all on the gospel keys that were on the earth when Christ was here. I know that the Prophet on the earth right now, President Thomas S Monson, is Heavenly Father's mouthpiece to the world and that his guidance and direction is from God. I am grateful for that knowledge.

The Atonement

Around Christmas time I was preparing a lesson to teach the children that the ancient prophets talked about Christ before he came. I was reading Isaiah 53.
5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
10 Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.
11 He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities.

Heavenly Father was "pleased" and "satisfied" to see his son suffer. Why? What father wants their beloved son to suffer? But the reason is because Heavenly Father loves all of us to much that he was willing to let Jesus suffer for us. He allowed it, so that we would not have to go through the same suffering and so that we could come back and live with him. Jesus Christ is described, in several verses in the Doctrine and Covenants, (6:20-21&32-37, 19:1-3, 29:1-2, 38:1-3, 43:3-5) with grandeur and might. Yet even with his glory, power and perfection; he was willing to die for me and suffer for the sins that I commit. Not only did he willingly suffer for me, but when he did it pleased Heavenly Father to know that we would then all have the chance to repent and return to Him.

So how can I show gratitute for this sacrifice? I can live in righteousness and employ the atonement in my life often. I can serve and love his children. I can read my scriptures to know how He would have me live. I can pray for strength, comfort and guidance on what the Lord would ask of me.